"The Box 69" is for anyone who lives life coloring OUTSIDE the lines! This blog series is a simply about creativity and reinvention...taking everyday items in our presence and finding inspiration.
November 28, 2010
Song: "Other Side of the World" Luther Vandross
I...ummm...I cried all the way home...last night. Slowly they came...softly they laid...the tears. I didn’t expect them. Hmmm? Why? Well...because I was happy. Yeah...I was so completely happy. She was the one I've wanted and was told no...you can't have her...be with her...love her. Someone else had that privilege. I have practiced love on so many beautiful, worthy subjects and finally...finally SHE is here...with me...now. And I’m leaving. All...the...way...home.
#70 Color: CHESTNUT April 22, 2011 Song: "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Aretha Franklin
For Spencer Beglarian, friend and colleague... Rest well my love... April 19, 2011
Dark deep Steeped long over heat And thick. This is my friend's love And daily greeting. Strong Bold Awake. You can't drink it. You sip it. Cut it. Better to take it in smaller doses and enjoy longer It's a robust concentrate You must have everyday Because he has it waiting Lovingly. He can make cheap Folger of Ohio Smell like deep import of Colombia But that is his gift. Spence spins the everyday Mundane Into beauty And deliciousness. A teacher A mentor A friend A gentle giant And a DAZZLING black woman/white man combo of joy! An inspiration to anyone who savored delight in his presence.
Bad coffee I won't drink it But I wish he was here to make it.
The Box 69: CHESTNUT
#70 Color: CHESTNUT April 22, 2011 Song: "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Aretha Franklin For Spencer Beglarian, friend and colleag...
#69 Color: DIVA BLUE April 8, 2011 Song: "Diva" Beyonce
MONDAY: I woke up this morning. I greeted myself with a Sunglow warm "Good Morning" And reminded myself To continue to live in passion And not fear... To embrace challenge To relinquish regret. Do not allow myself to be punished For the mistake of others And to love Like there was never hurt. I woke UP this morning.
TUESDAY: I woke UP this morning. And said Man, you gotta thank the people who love you. It's not always given Freely Or easily. You gotta thank the people who love you For it comforts you in your loneliness and quiet. You gotta thank the people who love you Because food is for the body, Love is for the spirit. You gotta thank the people who love you Because when you close them eyes at night, Your dreams are cast with those people. You gotta thank the people who love you Because we respond to positive reinforcement and gratitude... And it encourages us to keep giving. You gotta thank the people who love you Because there are plenty of people who don't. You gotta thank the people who love you Because, well sh!t, it's polite. And I woke UP this morning.
WEDNESDAY: I woke UP this morning. I savored a strawberry for breakfast. I danced in a waterfall for lunch. Still flying without a net I laid myself out for my lover to feast Floating on love by candlelight And for that, I woke UP this morning.
THURSDAY: I woke UP this morning. I caught truth like a butterfly And whispered It's not you. It's me. It's not you who loves me endlessly. It's me. It's not you who celebrates my romantic heart It's me. It's not you who leaves me empty. It's me. It's not you who causes my pain. It's me. It's not you I choose to love. It's me. Every day I must choose me In order to choose you. And if you can not choose me. I can not choose you. Despite how much I want to. We all deserve what we want. But if you participate in what you don't want, You deserve what you get. And as not to deprive myself of the love I deserve, I woke UP this morning.
FRIDAY: I woke UP this morning. My journal DEMANDED I hold myself accountable For my own actions And my own choices. My failings are simply my trials. My successes are merely taunts to see if I can repeat them. Neither need me lingerin' too long on them. I looked at what I wrote And realized I needed to challenge myself To be a better me. I woke UP this morning.
SATURDAY: I woke UP this morning. Holdin' a yard sale On the emotional clutter The blessin' blockers The insecure, fearful no risk takin' single sock bin Cause NOTHING matches mess! I have no regrets...at all. I put myself out there... My art... My passion... My love. I can control if I give it, So I give it Willingly, Freely And fiercely. I can NOT control if I get it back, So I can't worry About your worries About reciprocity, Exposure, And vulnerability. I can't carry your fear. It's too heavy. It gets in the way of my day. And if someone else wants it They can have it For free! From me. Make it free of me. EVERYTHING MUST GO! I woke UP this morning.
SUNDAY: I woke UP this morning. I thanked the Lord for all the days before and all the days to come. And I reminded myself of my mantra out of my last week and into my new week: "My creative and entrepreneurial success exist in My Hunger: My fearless passion to succeed despite the prospect of failure; My Hustle: My restless efforts to achieve my goals through networking and moving mountains, one pebble at a time; and My Hallelujah: Maintaining faith and giving praise for knowing I am ALWAYS assisted and NEVER alone. I am living a celebrated life. I have heroes Super, as they are... And they are waiting on me They are not waiting on the world of 'theys' and 'thems' They are waiting on me To step up And deliver them properly! I have the key. I have to turn it And press the gas. I woke UP this morning.
MONDAY: I woke UP this morning. Opened my eyes. Laying on my stomach I look over at possibilities And the rainbow Next to the bed. I rolled my fingers over the crayons next to the bed And smiled at Tickle Me Pink And Cotton Candy's sweetness. I pulled the pillow closer to my chin Like a lover's shoulder I smiled at the memory of a Cerulean blues night Sat up into my Sunglow morning And I, With a deep calming sigh And a sure, Resounding voice, Greeted the Diva "Good morning."
Starting from the top...
The Box 69: DIVA BLUE
#69 Color: DIVA BLUE April 8, 2011 Song: "Diva" Beyonce MONDAY: I woke up this morning. I greeted myself with a Sunglow warm &q...
#68 Color: TWIN COLORS: BLUE GREEN AND GREEN BLUE April 8, 2011 Song: "Just The Two Of Us" Grover Washington, Jr. feat. Bill WIthers
The love of a Gemini...
Can you please clone yourself So I can fall in love? Can you make yourself in two So I can have one too?
Twin Alone. Two halves of a whole Gemini being Ménage à trois with me Both of me can be your focus Double my pleasure Double your fun It's tricky busy stuff Being with a twin of one Traversing my spilt personality mine field Loving me is an adventure A wild ride Not knowing who will greet you at my door I'm a May baby But you won't get no bull with me My twin self is my balance My twin self is my comfort Sure, impatient... Ok, indecisive Alright, moody as hell But... Resilient Quick to recover from a fall Cushioned by the other. I'm never alone. I'm never lonely. Being ok in my own skin is easier when I have company A partner who has my back We tag team life We battle arm and arm In times of trouble Geminis are special beings Being two lives in one Both the moon and the sun Together.
The Box 69: TWIN COLORS: BLUE GREEN AND GREEN BLUE
#68 Color: TWIN COLORS: BLUE GREEN AND GREEN BLUE April 8, 2011 Song: "Just The Two Of Us" Grover Washington, Jr. feat. Bill WI...
#67 Color: Sky Blue July 27, 2001 Song: "Butterflies Kisses" Goapele
I don’t feel like talking anymore. I don’t feel like speaking words Made for misunderstanding Misuse Misinterpretation. I don’t feel like saying sweet things To make you feel sweet. I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like doing anything But sensing you With my senses. No thinking Just feeling. Don’t feel like doing anything else. Don’t feel like saying I love you. Sound ain’t forever. Feeling love is forever. You won’t remember What I sounded like When I said it But You will remember What it felt like. When you felt it… If you felt it… And I have a feeling you did.
And still I lay here Wanting to write Something profound Something so delicious It squirts in my mouth Full taste Full touch On my tongue Replacing words Not fit for the moment And it is her they wish they could describe. Words envious of her being Being no way used to her being. She is reduced And magnified To a sound A simple vibration That is felt And heard No words No room for pretentious education In the form of Useless vocabulary of the clever And lonely
The loved needs no degree No diploma No certificate Of approval Of acceptance Need no validation No recommendation No words are even in this poem.
The Box 69: SKY BLUE
#67 Color: Sky Blue July 27, 2001 Song: "Butterflies Kisses" Goapele I don’t feel like talking anymore. I don’t feel like spea...
#66 Color: Spring Green April 8, 2011 Song: "Anytime Anyplace" Janet Jackson
Farm Queens and Mountain Women For my sweet friend, Carla (Carlita Josephina) Houser!
Wild and loose and free Fall 1993. Across the room Beneath a dim light I saw nothing but shadows Except her. This Farm Queen smiled Illuminating the Mountain Woman's darkness. While everything around us was dying Turning shades of burnt orange And vivid violet In death, She gave me spring green Life and Love.
Bitter cold Winter 1993 The wind blows blizzard. Face freezes up Cracks up And falls off Running from Gibbons to the library. It's too cold to linger And yet The Farm Queen and the Mountain Woman walked Strolled All the way to Anthony Seeger From Mrs Greens in Chandler Just to have longer with each other Branches barely hold from the ice and snow But love is budding bold in spring green.
Time to leave And leaves arrive Spring 1994 My time in the valley was nearing an end She nearing the end of the beginning again. The Mountain Woman was Cali bound. The Farm Queen Holding close Not to let go Yet. Love was being tested Will it hold in the spring rains Of distance and parting. Spring green love is born of rain And grows.
Breeze is no ease. Summer 1994 She is coming my way West. The Farm Queen packed light Bringing only The scent of honey sickles And fresh cut grass And a curiosity larger than the city limits of home. Angels brings temptations And the queen's spring green Wilts a bit in the sun.
The seasons continued on The love flourished and thrived Survived All the harsh winters All the dying falls And the simmering summers. It is the return of spring The rebirth of the earth That reminds the Mountain Woman and her Farm Queen Of their Reinvented Reimagined And undying Love.
Not ever the end But always a beginning again.
The Box 69: SPRING GREEN
#66 Color: Spring Green April 8, 2011 Song: "Anytime Anyplace" Janet Jackson Farm Queens and Mountain Women For my sweet frien...
The first time, it tasted like strawberries. I thought, “Oh my goodness, it taste like strawberries! I like this! It taste like strawberries!” Imagine my disappointment when I discovered I had been misled.
The Box 69: WILD STRAWBERRY
#65 Color: Wild Strawberry August 6, 2001 Song: "Juicy Fruit" Mtume The First Time The first time, it tasted like strawberries. ...
#64 Color: Vivid Violet November 2, 2000 Song: "Lady In My Life" Michael Jackson
From Sao Paulo…Good Night
In the Sao Paulo sky I see a star Resting over my home.
There waits a woman Who longs for a different light Still beauty on sight I can see her in my blindness And desire to be with her.
Making blue into light Is love into destiny By her I see Forever azure And indigo And pearls Shades of happiness. She is sweetness Held over in the shell of bitterness Held hurt in a cup for sipping She drinks fully all her own. Time to kiss With the coolness Of her wet tongue. I feel her glide On my back And breast And nipple And sensitive all points are to the touch.
Her smell calls me to feast And she is the table of abundance And dance From feet To knee To thigh To hip To stomach To ache And throb From her heart And temple To tomb In her womb Is warmth In her breathe And her sigh When she is high And ready My hand steady And slide Appear and hide In her love And then the top cums And fades in her sleep Through the night And fades into day The morning The star is away But the love says she is there. I long to see her there But the star keeps her Until I return to her. From Sao Paulo I can see her And say Good Night.
The Box 69: VIVID VIOLET
#64 Color: Vivid Violet November 2, 2000 Song: "Lady In My Life" Michael Jackson From Sao Paulo…Good Night In the Sao Paulo sk...
#63 Color: Gray December 5, 1998 Song: "The Star Spangled Banner" Marvin Gaye
Alaskan Heat
Vinegar Hill is Black White Shades of gray.
Businesses: Black White And shades of gray.
Homes: Black White And shades of gray.
The sky, the street, all the buildings: Black White And shadows of gray.
The snow on the grass. The slush on the side of the street. Mix in looking like Italian Ice gone wrong. The man passing me with steps for a particular destination… The stride of determination The man who mistook integration For desegregation The poster child for assimilation “Brother can you spare a dime?” Black White, Spades of gray.
Vinegar Hill… I love Vinegar Hill. The sweetest place With a sour taste… But still the sweetest place on earth And everybody knows it. If you ain’t in church, A barber shop, A pool hall, Movie house, Local grocery, The drug store, Or just plain ole at home, You ain’t nowhere but here with me.
“Sister, can you spare a quarter? Sister, you just got out of church, Don’t let your conscience rot that quick . That ain’t the Christian way. You better go back in there And find somebody…”
Black White… “oh thank you for the quarter sister…” And shades of gray.
Stand at the end of the street And look all the way down… At the top of Vinegar Hill And see The black, The white, And the gray. The gray is taking over… Swallowing up the whole hill Except me. Black White And mainly shades of gray Except me And my bottle of whiskey. Soft and brown… Brick red… That’s the color I liked in the 64 box. Warm…hot… Burning… Waiting to put color back in me And me back in color So I can be seen again… On Vinegar Hill.
Standing on top of Vinegar Hill Is standing on top of world. Crack open the bottle. Up to my lips. The cold in the wind And the lick of my tongue Has caused the chap of my lips And its burning. My gums burning. My tongue on down my throat On past and beyond. I even felt my stuff tighten up And a river of veins Pop up on my forehead. Damn that feels good. The color is in me And I feel it. The steam of it is coming out of me And rising off of me. It feels good… So damn good… For now.
The Box 69: GRAY
#63 Color: Gray December 5, 1998 Song: "The Star Spangled Banner" Marvin Gaye Alaskan Heat Vinegar Hill is Black White Shades...
#62 Color: Royal Purple April 1, 2011 Song: "A Song For You" Donny Hathaway
For my Renaissance Brotha, John H. Gordon
Kings are found in different forms. Mine found me In my college dorm. First day Freshmen year At the school of purple and gold. Chill Cool Big smile Sittin' on my bed When I walk into my room. I returned the favor... Later... And he still won't let me forget.
Kings lead. Subjects follow. Adore Admire This king Sings to his kingdom And we bask in the beauty of his lullaby. We celebrate the power of his voice. We love this leader of love And listen.
My friend, Is a king... This deacon of funk. I fell in love With my friend This king... When he stood in my freshmen dorm And said, "Hi"... When he stood in my living room And said, "Me too."... When he grabbed me by my pants On the three story escalators In the world trade center And save my life... When he carried My drunk ass From the village to Newark...NEW JERSEY When he sat in the car, Steaming Because he didn't... And I did. When every time my heart broke His voice healed.
This king, Often among queens, My renaissance brotha, Moves me To create... Inspires me To be bold... To live my life Amplified and mic'ed up. We are loud And we love it. Rainbows bend over us Resounding triangles chimes delight When he sings... When he laughs... When he smiles. My friend Is a king... And i will follow his voice... His love... Anywhere.
The Box 69: ROYAL PURPLE
#62 Color: Royal Purple April 1, 2011 Song: "A Song For You" Donny Hathaway For my Renaissance Brotha, John H. Gordon Kings ar...